BARTcasting

Whenever I ride BART, I start casting my fellow passengers in roles in case a psychopath boards and we’re all taken hostage. Recent castings include:

  • The good-looking guy you’d expect to be the hero but instead dies in an incredibly stupid attempt to save us all

  • The nerd who manages to reconfigure an iPhone 4 into an explosive device

  • The sassy black lady who doesn’t take shit from the psychopath

  • The mother who just wants to give the psychopath what he wants so she can get back to her kids

  • The unassuming guy with a messenger bag and loads of sarcasm who reluctantly becomes the hero

  • The funny fat guy who says things like, “Dude. We’re sorry Nurse Ratched won’t give you any Twinkies, but don’t be getting all up in our grill about it.”

  • The good-looking woman you’d think would be a wimp but then she turns all bad-ass and suddenly knows how to do judo and use a gun

  • The nebbish older guy who produces guns from under his coat

  • The precocious kid who turns out to have some sort of special clairvoyant power

Me? I get to be Sandra Bullock. DUH.

Notes

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