and when you get to the end, stop.

How Stormtroopers develop drinking problems.

via rageblog.org

Him: “Just bought a plane on eBay.

Him: “Through the eBay app.”

Me: “Where will you park it?”

Him: “Bought a hangar.”

Him: “Then that seemed limiting, so I bought an airport.”

Him: “But then I ran into zoning issues, so I bought a country.”

Me: “Which one?”

Him: “Couldn’t decide. So I bought California. Totally affordable right now.”

Me: “Oh cool. Tell all those people to get the fuck off our lawn.”

Him: “Did. Started with Forest Lawn. They didn’t move.”

Me: “You should have played ‘Thriller.’”

Him: “Niiiiiiiiice.”

“Grab your partner by the hair, throw her down and leave her there!”

Crazy Calls - answering machine tape TV ad (via nebulax)

They made millions off this thing. Respect.

Um…. No… No I didn’t, Amazon. But thanks for sharing.

Ebn Ozn -  AEIOU Sometimes Y (via NightTracks)

“One would sneeze, and the other one’s eyes would get real big!”

Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In Blooper and Gag Reel

“Pork and Beans.” Gotta love the inside geeky joke. Okay, except for PheltUp.